FOR SALE!!! 400K PER LIFE OFFER VALID WHILE STOCKS LAST

Giving da fact that I’m enjoying ma sef, and people dey school, dey receive educasion and I dey for house dey frolic, I get one question wen I won ask, the one person multitude wen dey read this blog:

·        Na bad thing to dey DO with one person and to come dey imagine say, Na another person u dey DO with.

·        When u and person dey DO and you say stop and person no gree stop, not to rape dat one dey turn to.

Gehs, please this question Na for una. I know say some people like one geh wen her name start with B (I no call anybody name) go defend. Me sha, I dey on the fence. I feel say you fit imagine am, as long as say, the person wen you and am dey DO no dey committed and d person no know. But if una dey committed, den I feel say u no suppose imagine am, MY OPINION. And for question number 2, how you won take judge am pass, not to you take your two left leg waka go the person house. So if you ask me, Na who I go ask…………………………

One of my friends Stella, tell me say, her friend angelica, tell am say, person tell am say (dem say dem say don come again, rumour has it people) parole dey for Abuja, dat per session Na 400k and the, who is who of Nigeria nai dey involved, (Senators, Ambassadors, Alhajis, People Mothers and Peoples fathers). In fact, dem be VIP or in my opinion VIR (Very Important Ritualist). No be juju level be dat one, 400k per session, ABEG……. d tin Na gold dem use take lace am. The money dey tempting sha BUT wen d snake dey come outside, 400k no go reach for treatment. So once again if you ask me Na who I go ask…………

BTW:I just sidon for cyber café like agbaya, dey wait make the yeye internet come up so I go fit see fashion week timetable and also my sista don land from d obodo, but she never reach house, so I dey go wait for am for airport, so dat I go get first pick for all the goodies.

After one hour, the internet never still come up, abeg I dey go my papa house, not to because of me dem invent World Wide Web, I go come back later mschewwwwwwww.

I don talk am now……………..

WOMAN............ THOU ART LOOSE

Before u DO anybody, ask yourself, if I see the person tomorrow wetin d person go talk? ,if the person go talk say, the first day wen you meet am, na dat day, nai the person see the colour of your pant or say you dey form classy (at least e better make dem say you dey form clazzy, than to talk say, you no clazzy at all) dat won na up to you. I won put the true life super story of my friend Stella. she say, yesterday she dey her papa house jeje, wen her assistant knock her door, come tell am say, her friend angelica, dey down stairs dey find am.wen she reach down, angelica come tell am say, parole dey (according to her, na her first parole be that, well…. if na true, nai be say, my CGPA na  4.99  ).say the people, one come  from London, den she tell angelica say, “who she be to refuse a call from the obodo” . Na so she carry her two left leg, go ready. She nor even baff sef, she just do MDP (mouthwash, deodorant and perfume), hair sef she no brush. As reach she outside, she come see the people for inside the motor (as I dey write dis story, e dey pain me cause some people Stella, go dey call people classless).  Na so dem come drive go, she Sidon for the back with the person wen come from the obodo, say Na her own. As dem dey drive dey go, she think say na hotel dem go go, before she Know, dem take road wen dey lead to angelica house ,for her mind, she say no problem cause, last last dem go use different rooms . E shock am, wen dem reach, angelica begin dey arrange room say, all of dem, go do am for the same room. She say, she come tell angelica say, she no go commot her cloth, say Na only Oral B, she go do, well….. Breeze don blow and una known the rest. End of story…. she and angelica commot cloth finish for the same room, and the obodo come say Na angelica him want and them come switch.  She  tell me, dat na only Oral B she do, cause CD no dey and besides she was on her period but angelica do without CD ( geh friend, ashawo na ashawo no matter what you drive). She say make I advise am, because the obodo person, want relationship with angelica and she come dey ask herself the following questions:

·        The whole thing worth am? (Na lie, E dey pain am cause the obodo person no pick am)

·        Because she do group tin, e mean say, she be ashawo? (Before nko)

·        Wetin make the obodo go choose angelica, abi she no clazzy reach? (Duh!!!! wen you go dey do MDP and dey wear tear tear trouser, you no know abi….)

Trust me, I give am the answers below, because the ones above, no do justice:

·        Woman thou art loose, and where art thou virtue

·        Never sleep with anyone, the first day you meet them

·        DOING is private and usually between two people

·        No dey form clazzy wen you no clazzy, dey baff, dey use Brazil and if you dey bleach, make sure say, you bleach the bleaching complete (Stella Na fair girl but her behind nyash black)

·        Commot for ashawo level or become a high class prostitute better still leave the business

·        Bottom line…….. Woman thou art loose and where art thou virtue and no, it wasn’t worth it, so move on.

BTW: this post long sha…..I don change the Names of the parties involved, to prevent their public stoning and I write this piece, to paint someone as a victim and to make a person feel good.

I never  resume school, cause My sista dey come from the obodo , so I dey wait for am, plus one big event dey happen for gidi, and I might be going, plus a reunion with an old friend is upcoming. So, educasion is on hold.

I don talk am now……………..

ONLY IN NIGERIA

Take am say this story, e fit be lie and e fit be true, so Na your choice to place am for either fiction or nonfiction, but the level of classlessness’ wen people go stoop to dey baffle me sometimes. Say man wen don marry with children  go dey follow another married man wen get pikin on top bike around town, dey check wether him dey cheat on am, na beyond foolishness. No be cheat una two dey cheat and as you don marry you no go commot for ashawo work. All I have to say is, big SHAME on you, as you old reach. I suppose get your details, send am to Linda ikeji, as e be say Na Nigerian film you won dey act up and down and you won be star. Shame no even catch you small. If person say Holy Ghost, don catch am because say your soup no sweet, you no go go house go cry for your wife breast. Can only imagine what the poor woman is going through, for her mind she don marry, not knowing say, Na honorary lesbian she be. Girls, make una open una eyes before una marry, marriage no be for everyone and no be by force. Say you be 35 and nobody dey show face, no mean say na the first person wen propose nai you go gree for. The symptoms are always there, for you to see all the things you don’t need in your life .abeg no settle for less (note to me too) you too valuable for anybody to treat you like rubbish. Anyways, as for dat yeye husband….one day bush meat go catch the hunter 

BTW: To say, boredom get address Na my papa house e go be. I don dey dis house for 1 week and e be like say na Rapuzel or Cinderella I be, wen dem trap for inside castle. Na so so think I dey think, and for the past one week light never dey and On Sunday all the guys for house no go church, When my mama come back na so holy ghost fire full everywhere .so next Sunday, na under da canopy da lord I go dey. And note to the person wen promise me pass to d big event wen dey come up for Eko, if I no go, please defer your academic sessions for the next 3 years.

I don talk am now……………..

PART 2

I don come back, and Na still Saturday (pls check at, d earlier post). As climb up, I come look my bodi, as I injure, all my skin don scatter finish and toning Bleaching don dey I vain. the situation big pass me so, I decide say, I go, go hospital with my friend, as we reach hospital dem treat me finish, we come say make we go outside school go buy food, as we dey trek come back  we come see the hospital bus, dey park inside d hospital. Na me I come remember say, I clazzy, so I no fit dey trek.  As we reach, we come enter bus, oya make we dey go now, we no fit go because, one student don dey craze. see me see blessing, person dey craze, no be to tie am down, the medical professionals no use dem sense, na so we come get to lock our sef inside because  d boy wen dey craze dey run dey come inside d bus. We dey inside for 2 hours before him mama and papa come. And we come fit come outside. I don already dey shat; Holy Ghost takes control for my mind, because Na another story, we for dey talk. TO GOD BE DA GLORY WATCHES AT FOR PART 3

BTW: Time don deys go, so I get to go. Wen I post again I go talk how HOD take talk true, and the person wen remind me say, I never blog dey ask me the name of my blog; imagine mschewwwwwwww .So therefore no special shat at. And I dey go back house, so no more constant internet. My Clazzyness get price, so e get were, e dey stop. Plus my blog as been viewed 74 time maybe by me half of the time PRAIZEEEEEEEEE DA lORRRRD. Hallelujah……..

PART 1

As, I wan use talk am now…….but if u ask me, Na who I go ask. Plenty plenty tins don happen dis pass week.  I dey studio now, and I dey do research download and usual, I never baff and I dey smell near one fine girl. Any way back do the issue at hand, for this post na my week in review I go do, and no be small Nigerian film, I act, with me of course as d star of d film. And I typical Naija fashion, one part is just not enough

SATURDAY: I dey for school, and people dey go house as school don vacate (department say make we stay behind), I wan vex die, no be say I won go house, as my house rent go soon expire, I go explain for another post. I dey vex sha, and on top dis yeye good school, come tell us say make we pack commot for d hall, wen we dey go another hall. Na so we begin dey carry load, dey go another hall, and my load plenty well well, I be like woman wen marry rich man, and I dey pack my load dey go him house. As I reach dey front of the other hall I come dey follow dey play, person com crack foolish joke, na so I come purse the person, d next thing wen I know na ground I dey. I fall go front but wen I land, Na Sidon I dey Sidon, my bodi don scatter and my clazzy sweater from London, come tear( so next semester, when you see me with sleeveless sweaters, no ask me question, as it is the new trend for men) I injure for all my bodi. People come dey laugh me, me sef, I no know wetin to do, so I come dey laugh too… …..

BTW: the post too long, so watch at for part 2…… make d one person wen dey read d blog, no come say I dey boring, so I go break am down. See as my friend wan happi die because of skype.Na wa oh, on top Skype, all clazzyness is lost. Money good oh, see as she dey use pro book and e fast, no be like us wen we dey use TV, dey deceive our self myself say we get lappi, jealousy and, once again my own is on day way Ahmennnnnnnnnnn